A MOSQUITO RESPONSE
I remember learning if a 'bad guy' tried to grab me I needed to scream. I remember learning not to talk to strangers, but I don’t remember learning why, other than “it’s not safe.” As I got older, I remember learning that kicking a boy in the groin would stop him from hurting me (not true). That was about the extent of my self-defense training.
Take a moment to reflect on how girls are raised vs how boys are raised. From the get-go, girls are taught to be lady-like, nurturing, kind, loving, polite, softly-spoken, and friendly. These all sound harmless in theory, but without exposure or permission to act beyond these qualities, we are left open to potential harm. Girls are taught to be submissive, follow instead of lead, speak when spoken to, and take the back seat. Girls' toys are babies, barbies, dress-ups, pretend makeup, pretend kitchens with soft pastel colors.
Meanwhile, boys are taught from the get-go to be protectors, providers, and successful leaders. They’re taught to be strong and brave, to hold back certain emotions, to get back up after getting knocked down, and to repress their vulnerability. Poor behavior is often excused with the remark, "boys will be boys." Boys' toys are guns, swords, cars, bow and arrows, and bold colors. More thoughts on this later in the Bia for Boys Workbook (coming 2021).
We can now see the initial problem. Boys are taught to fight and to stand up for themselves, especially when threatened. Girls are taught to be 'polite.' Boys have what we can call a 'mosquito response.' Because they have learned that it is okay to fight back, their initial instinct is to swipe the mosquito away so as not to be bitten. Herein lies the problem. Girls are much more likely to be bitten by a mosquito and yet they are taught to let the mosquito bite. Moreover, to be 'polite' when the mosquito bites. Worse still, the bite is followed by the question; "why didn't you swipe the mosquito away?" THIS IS A TRIPLE BIND. GIRLS NEED A MOSQUITO RESPONSE TO THREAT.
The Bia Defense Workbook teaches tactics and techniques that will help women and girls develop a 'mosquito response' to physical threats. Click here to get yours!
