10 Small but Mighty Ways to Move Forward from Pain
I’m convinced that more pain is caused when less pain is felt. I might be wrong, but I also might be onto something.
Join me on this thought; whether deserved or undeserved, self inflicted or caused by others pain is a part of human life. It’s naturally avoided because it freaking sucks.
-no surprise there-
My question is what causes it to be intentionally avoided? Intimidation from a belief in a social idea or conversation that we’re inadequate, that we’ll show signs of “weakness,” or that we’ll break an ideal appearance? IDK. All I know is when I don’t intentionally FEEL pain, I unintentionally cause more pain. It’s a pattern I can trace throughout my life.
It was time for 7th grade basketball tryouts and I was more than prepared. I mean, I was the #1 fan of the Utah Jazz. In elementary I lived in my purple Utah Jazz uniform and made sure my mom slicked back my hair real tight in my everyday 1/2 ponytail. I couldn’t risk my hair getting in my face and messing up my shot playing intense rounds of lightening against the boys during recess. I had plenty of practice! Not to mention, I’d been playing Jr. Jazz for years! It was go time.
I walked into the gym on the day of tryouts with all the confidence in the world that making the team was going to be my way of making friends as the new kid. I made the first cut! Halfway through the second cut I forgot who I was supposed to pass to. I panicked and instead of passing I took a shot! AIRBALLLLLL. I was so embarrassed. I legit fell down to the grown and covered my face. To make matters worse the TA, a cute “popular” boy, started laughing and calling me“Half court shot fall down and cry!” He was screaming so loudly that every single person in that gym heard and I’m sure had a good laugh. I was hurt, probably more so than I had ever been up until that point. Tryouts continued, but I hated it so badly I didn’t put forth any effort. I wanted to play it safe in order to protect myself from further embarrassment.
I wish so badly I could go back to that day and tell my little self to acknowledge that feeling as pain, that it was okay to hurt, and doing so didn’t make me weak, less cool, or less talented. Because I didn’t really FEEL that pain, I caused even more self pain by never trying out for basketball again and allowing that chump boy’s comments and actions taint my thoughts and confidence for too long. Something that I absolutely loved turned into something I avoided until I eventually stopped playing.
The next time you feel pain instead of avoiding it, acknowledge it. Write it down. Write what brought it on, who caused it, and how it’s making you feel. Don’t hold back. Then crumple it up THROW IT AWAY! If it makes you cry, let the tears flow. If it makes you angry, scream, go on a run, or go boxing! If it makes you feel like doing nothing, do nothing!
You’ll want to reject it, bury it, hide it because well because it sucks. Instead of rejecting it, accept it (the feeling of pain, not what caused it).
Allow yourself time to FEEL pain. Then define it.
Take my word for it if you don’t define it first, it will define you. Meaning, if you don’t move forward after allowing yourself time to FEEL you’ll get stuck in it.
10 small but mighty things to help you move forward from pain:
1. Breathe (Bre’s go-to breathing techniques)
2. If you’re in bed, get out and make it!
3. Open your blinds
4. 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique (Bre’s go-to grounding techniques )
5. Start your day by writing two things you’re grateful for
6. Choose a positive feeling you want to end your day with and say “I will end my day feeling _________” out loud, set a reminder on your phone, and/or write it in your journal.
7. Call or Macro Polo a friend
8. Go outside
9. Listen to your favorite song
10. Do 10 jumping jacks, 10 pushups, 10 sit ups
Now slick your hair back and get back on the court!
You got this,
Bre
10 Small but Mighty Ways to Move Forward from Pain
